Tonight at Empire Entertainment, we had a massive night in Magic the Gathering! The first thing that happened was the General Manager made an announcement, finally making an official choice as to what was going to happen with Jason Foreman’s share of the tag-team championship: there would be a massive chaos game, and whoever won would take Foreman’s spot as champion. The players in attendance were: James Seagraves, Magic-Man, Wolf-Man, Poofy Head Paul, and Jason Sharp. Since the Sharp Dressed Man always works on Saturdays, thus he would not be able to ever defend his title, he wasn’t allowed in the choas game. So it broke down into a four way chaos game of such:
Magic-Man – Using his newly constructed blue and black deck. A total nightmare, albeit not entirely original.
Wolf-Man – Yadda yadda yadda, white “gays of justice” deck, what else is new.
Poofy-Head Paul – Slivers of lameness.
James – Red firebreathing Deck.
Seeing as how Wolf-Man and Magic-Man have some kind of quasi-man crush on each other in the form of the “Shake and Bake” tag-team, James tried to persuade Paul into teaming up against them, but alas, he wouldn’t listen. So James was victimized by the epic rivalry between he and Magic, and thus was eliminated first.
After that, Paul took out Magic, who had enchanted one of Wolf-Man’s fliers with “Snake Cult Initiation,” thus Paul was receiving three poision counters per turn.
When Paul had nine poison counters, thus he would die the next turn, he had the most clutch draw in the world, and somehow configured it so that he won in one turn. I’m not certain exactly how it went down, all I know is that it did, and thus Paul was crowned one half of the tag-team champions.
After the chaos game, there was the standard round-robin tournament for the singles championship. Tony Ames and Sharp Dressed Man were both in this, and here’s how the games broke down.
Magic – went 4 and 1, losing only to Tony Ames
James – went 3 and 2, losing to both Magic and Wolf-Man…appropriately.
Paul – went 0 and 5, probably because he was using a non-sliver deck that featured 5 colors.
Sharp – went 1 and 4 – beating only Paul.
Wolf-Man – went 3 and 2 – losing to Tony Ames and Magic.
Tony Ames – went 4 and 1 – losing to James’ traumatize deck.
Thus, Tony Ames and Magic both finished at 4-1, and had to fight it out right then and there for the Empire Entertainment Magic Championship….
Tony Ames kicked Magic’s teeth in. It wasn’t even close. Leaving many fans to cry out “let Seagraves face the champ!” after the dissapointing title match of last week coupled with the fact that James’ traumatize deck mowed through Tony Ames white and green deck. Nevertheless, Seagraves was denied another shot at the title, meaning that he’ll have to earn it the hard way next week.
However, at the end of the night, as per usual with Empire Entertainment, there was controversy. Poofy Head Paul, after winning half of the tag-team championship, announced publicly that he would “hardly ever” be available to play on Saturdays, thus the General Manager stripped the belt from him for being an idiot, making his run as champion the shortest in history.
Now the big question is: what will happen to
